While attempting to describe to a friend who isn't too experienced in relationships why guys, who are supposedly the more straight-forward sex don't really seem to be straight-forward at all.

My reply: We tried, the results of our trying to be honest and up-front follow:

The example I used was Indiana Jones trying to steal the Idol at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Indiana Jones being the Guy
The Golden Idol being the Girl.

1. Indiana walks up to the idol and tries to steal it:
He dies.

2. Indiana sneaks up to the idol and tries to steal it:
He dies.

3. Indiana does nothing:
He dies.

4. Indiana buys it flowers, nice dinners, and takes it places it likes.
It says he's a nice guy.
He dies.

5. Indiana and his sidekick try to steal it.
The Idol likes the sidekick better, Indiana feels betrayed.
He dies.
The sidekick dies.

6. After a long friendship with the idol, Indian tries to steal it.
It thinks of him as a friend.
He dies.

7. Indiana tries to steal the idol, it asks for more time to sort through its feelings, Indiana agrees.
Indiana watches Jerky McJerk steal the idol.
He (Indiana) dies.

8. Sad that Jerky McJerk has stolen the idol, but glad it's his friend and there's a chance she'll notice Jerky's a jerk and allow herself to be stolen by Indiana, he goes out with the idol for coffee.

The Idol complains that Jerky McJerk is a jerk, who hates its friends, yells at it, treats it like dirt, and is only using it, but deep down Jerky McJerk is a nice, sensitive guy.
He (Indiana) dies.

9. The Idol complains that it can't find a good thief, like Indiana, and says it wishes it could find a good thief, like Indiana.
Indiana says "Hey, what about me?"
It says "No."
He dies.